The recession in me
Its 7:46 pm and here I am, at office feeling useless again. The operative word in that last sentence is “again”. It’s been over two months now that I’ve been feeling like this and I’m just not able to figure out the reason for sluggishness that has taken over me. Let me just adjust the lens so you can see a clearer picture of what I’m talking about.
Three months ago, I had my appraisal on the sandy beaches of goa. No! I don’t work for Google. I work for this ad agency called White Canvas that is a little older than the time I’ve spent here. Until May 2008 I had given this organization everything I had, which includes time, commitment, ideas and the works. In return it had given me a little money but a lot of “feel good” factor, which I would like to believe made up for the money. In my appraisal Vinod, the creative director, told me that Deepak and him looked up to me when it comes to certain things, this did to me what cocaine does to Bryan Adams!! I was on cloud no. 9! I was mighty kicked but little did I know that this was the point where my bell shaped performance curve hit its peak.
Since then the tables have turned. It's been two months now that White Canvas has been giving me a lot of money and hardly any of the “feel good” factor. I feel like a freezer in the arctic! I spent the first month realizing this and the second thinking why? Earlier it was just me, but now people are noticing the change. This really can’t be good, my ship in sinking and I need to do something about it, ideally, find the crack. I spoke to a few people trying to find out what’s happening to me but picture is still very unclear to me. Why am I losing interest? Am I burning out? Am I not challenged? Have I just lost interest? What happened to the drive and passion? Or have I just become comfortably numb?
Questions like these hound me everyday, and I only hope I will find the answers soon enough. If you know me well enough, you should these two things about me, I am an optimist and I just love quotes . So although I am going through this recession, I’d like to believe that “after every dark and stormy night, the sun will shine again”